Jun.
29
2011
Blame The ‘Baby Boom’: How Our Parents Ruined America

If you ever find yourself looking around and asking, “Why is my country so fucked up?,” look no further than Mom and Dad: The very same geezers that made your childhood miserable are part of the mindless regressive voting bloc that’s driving America face-first into the ground.

How Our Parents Ruined America: Part 1

Baby Boomers. Today’s 45-65 year olds, born to the heroes of the Second World War, are methodically dismantling the country their parents fought so hard to defend. Since their coming of age around the 1980′s, the Baby Boomers have been actively engaged in the organized rape of both our national identity and the real-world factors that form it, e.g. the economy. They were the first generation to enjoy the comfort of middle class life, and if they have their way, they’ll also be the last. The Baby Boomers’ only real claim to fame is how god damn many of them there are, an unfortunate side effect of the copious amounts of sex their parents had after beating the Nazis.

Children of The Great Generation

The men and women who returned victorious from World War 2 and seized the moment to propel the United States into the position of global superpower did so thanks to the GI Bill, which paid for them to go to college. Almost overnight, the American middle class was born, not quite robber-baron wealthy but not factory-poor either. Bolstered by their newfound socio-economic bravura, and united by their common hatred of the Godless commies, the Great Generation knew no limits. They put people on the goddamn moon just to outdo the Russians, and they invented computers: they’re badass no matter how you look at it.

So what the fuck happened? Time happened, and even they were no match for it. Eventually, the Great Generation faded into Alzheimer’s and their offspring, the so-called Baby Boomers, took charge. That’s where shit started going downhill, and here we are, decades later, standing with our mouths open under the great shit-waterfall known as Baby Boomer American politics.

The Baby Boomers should not be confused with the hippie generation. Most were too young to experience the 60′s, and they seem forever bitter about that fact. No, we’re talking people who are 45-65 right now, eg your parents. They’ve had America by the ballsack since the 1980′s, and now it looks like new medical technology might keep them around for a lot longer than anyone cares for.

Part 1 in a series
Coming up: MADD VS The Driverless Car, Ronald Fucking Reagan, Global Warming: Averted

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