marco rubio 2012

Florida Senator Marco Rubio announces his run for President of the United States. Does the GOP golden boy have what it takes to beat Republican rivals and President Obama?

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Cooling Sun Will Offset Perceived Warming Trend, Climate Change ‘No Longer A Threat’

The threat of global warming has been narrowly averted, scientists say. Thanks to a mysterious drop-off in solar activity, which astronomers say corresponds to an extended solar minimum, humanity will be spared the long centuries of unimaginable pain and hardship expected to follow catastrophic climate collapse.

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Ronald Fucking Reagan.

It’s 1980. The baby boomers are in their 20′s and 30′s and constitute the largest voting bloc in the country. The prohibition-inquisition known as MADD has just been established by a roving band of profiteering harpies. The oil shock of 1979 just shook America to its sludgy black core, and the Communist threat is as prevalent as ever. The baby boomers are afraid, and naturally they turn to a strong, charismatic leader to save them.

Ronald Reagan wins the presidential election barely or by a landslide, depending on who you ask, with a respectable 422 electoral votes and a laughable 51% of the popular vote. Conservative nuts are busting all over the country, and the founding fathers are turning in their graves.

How Our Parents Ruined America: Part 3
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Driverless cars are real, and you’ll probably have one within a decade – unless a certain sinister neo-prohibitionist ‘nonprofit’ gets its way. While Google tests the first generation of autonomous vehicles in the remote Nevada desert, the nascent technology faces a legal threat from an unlikely opponent: Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

How Our Parents Ruined America: Part 2
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Blame The ‘Baby Boom’: How Our Parents Ruined America

If you ever find yourself looking around and asking, “Why is my country so fucked up?,” look no further than Mom and Dad: The very same geezers that made your childhood miserable are part of the mindless regressive voting bloc that’s driving America face-first into the ground.

How Our Parents Ruined America: Part 1
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